Z End

At the end of the day there is nothing better than putting your head on the pillow and catching some ZZZs.  So it seems only natural that for my last entry in the ABCs of kindness I should help someone do just that.

I thought about writing the most boring entry I could think of to help lull the reader to sleep.  But that didn't feel right.  Leaving some Ambien on a park bench for someone to find?  A bad idea on several levels.....Helping someone fall asleep is a rather tricky act of kindness.

And then it struck me. Good Night Gorilla. My all time favorite children's going to bed book ever.  I give a copy to anyone I know who is having a baby.  It is a standard gift when I'm attending a birthday party for
children five or under. And even though my boys are twelve and eleven, we still have our copy hanging around the house. Today I bought one and added it to my small pile of gifts to donate as Christmas comes closer. And I hope that some child somewhere, along with their mom or dad, enjoys the  gorilla sneaking in the house for a snuggle with the zoo keeper and his wife while the mouse with the banana keeps a watchful eye, as much as we did.

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Thank you to all who have followed this blogging adventure A to Z. Your words of encouragement and support have been the key to helping me see this project through to the end.  And of course the biggest thank you of all goes to Kim, my partner in blogging and kindness  who made this commitment along with me and helped prove that doing something with a friend is always more fun.

YOGA

Two weeks ago I was invited to participate in 30 consecutive days of yoga.  My dear friend, who lives half way across the country, explained that she, her daughter, her sister-in-law, and her niece were entering in this endeavor and would I like to join.  This invitation was the act of kindness I received.  And, as is so often the case, when kindness is given it begets kindnesses.

In this last week I have taught yoga to unknowing teenagers.  An asana (pose) here, an asana there.  The act of standing firm (mountain pose) and then reaching straight up and then rising up on tip toes with careful inhalations and exhalations, brings one to center or leads one to step to keep balance.  Still, being more aware of oneself in the now happens even briefly.

The women with whom I'm sharing this practice and I have engaged in ongoing communication about our experiences.  We share when chair pose leads to burning in the thighs and more deeply we share that shavasana or corpse pose, is about all we can muster in a day.

This week, as we share this yoga experience we are also sharing with one another in a rather sacred space and time in one woman's journey as she helps ease her father from this world to the great beyond.
I've attempted to listen to my friend's experiences of a more vast yogic practice of awareness, presence in a way that honors her every breath and her father's final breaths.  I believe the commitment to engaging with my friend and her relatives (new in my life though not quite strangers) in daily yoga and sharing the details of our lives through writing creates a circle of continuous opportunity for kindness amongst us and beyond just us.  I honor my dear friend in this difficult time and feel great gratitude for the yoga we are experiencing together and sharing with others.

The yoga will continue as Betsy and I head into our last blogging week of Z!  I can't believe it is now the week of Z!!!!!   Look out zebras, here I come!

Yo

As in Yo-Yo of course.  Since I collected some toys for X, I thought I would add a few more to add to the pile since holiday toy drives are just around the corner.  And while I am not a fan of yo-yos myself, having never mastered the skills needed to look cool playing with one, I do know my kids enjoy them.  Although, now that I think about  it, they never quite figured out how to use one either....But it doesn't seem to interfere with there enjoyment.

So come December a few more kids will have the opportunity to  conquer the timeless trick of walking the dog and whatever else people do with those things.

And now, and can hardly believe the time has come that we are on to Z!

Almost Stumped by X

I'm coming in late on this entry, a day past our self imposed deadline. Why? Because I was absolutely stumped by X.  I perused the dictionary...several times with no brilliant, or dull for that matter, ideas presenting themselves for kind acts that started with X.  Fortunately I discussed this dilemma with a co-worker  who immediately said "What about X-Men?"  Of course!  How could I be the only female living in the home with my two sons and my husband, the trio that never lets a super-hero movie opening day pass without our attendance, and not have thought of X-Men as the obvious answer?

I've purchased a couple  action figures, Wolverine and Magneto.  I have learned in my vast experience in living with boys that it is important to have a good guy and a bad guy.  They've been tucked away in my close waiting until Christmastime when they will get donated to local toy drive. 

Hopefully good and evil can co-exist until that time.

Xenophobia and Xylophones

Yes, I'm going to try and make some sort of connection here...  This may take more words than other entries.  It's a bit of an essay that follows...thank you ahead of time for proceeding, if you choose to do so.  If this warning of length leads you to choose to pass this up, please know that is fine as well...  You can proceed to your own act of kindness in the time you've saved by carrying on.

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Xenophobia is the X word that jumped into my mind many months ago when we first embarked upon this project.  I had no idea how in the world, yes, how in the WORLD, I would be able to work this in.  Xenophobia -The fear of foreign people.  Xenophobia is a word that has been actively on my mind for at least half my life, I think it's fair to say.  I realize this may sound strange to others however I have always felt passionately about the idea of giving all people a fair shake in life, no matter what.  Is that always easy to do?  No.  But, I do feel it is an essential driving force in my life.

Who knew that this very week I would be in a country other than my own?  Who knew that I would be in Logan International airport?  Who knew this week of X would fall just after the 10th Anniversary of 9/11?  This is all true.  This all happened and was not at all contrived.  Strange.

I have travelled to Canada to a small town called Niagra-on-the-Lake in Ontario.  When at Logan I was in line to prepare to go through security.  In front of me was a family from India.  There were three generations.  Grandparents, parents and one very cute, I'd say three year old girl with curly, dark brown hair and big, wide open, brown eyes.  Parents were attempting to prepare to go through all the check-points, shoes off, belongings in bin and NO DRINKS.  Well, one passenger in the family was not prepared to give up her sippie cup.  Whatever was in there was simply too good to throw out or it was simply the concept of "Mine" that was dictating the dance between parents and otherwise good natured, smiling girl.  Mother was becoming embarrassed.  She looked my way more than once.  I smiled as I exchanged looks with her.  In one more look back at me she mouthed, "I'm sorry."  I chuckled and made sure to say aloud, "No problem at all.  Don't worry about it."  She seemed to relax, maybe.  The dance continued through about two more zig zags.  I engaged in some more chat during that time.  The little girl turned her little head around like an owl to see who was talking about that cup of hers.  She laughed and held the cup tight.  While in line I noticed the high number of people with passports, with distinct clothing, and who were talking languages other than English.  I thought about how intimately involved Logan Airport was with 9/11/01.  I considered the impossibility of knowing, while standing in line, what the future holds at any point in time.  And file through the x-ray machine we did, in the name of safety.

The Indian family was on the same flight as me.  We acknowledged each other through head nods and smiles several times.  The little girl and her parents and I nodded a "so long" as they were picked up outside baggage claim.  I then travelled with my parents to this little town on Lake Ontario to spend a special week with my parents.  We are partaking in the Shaw Festival - a festival of plays that lasts from Spring through Fall each year in this town.  The streets of the town are filled with people from all over the world.  I suspected I might hear some French.  I've also heard many English/Irish/Scottish accents. There will be a play filled with Australian accents.  I've heard German, Dutch and I noted an Asian group but did not hear them as they were further up the road.  Many languages, many people.  Smiles exchanged, "hellos" as we pass on the streets.  Friendliness among people from different places.

Friendliness, smiles, acknowledgment between human beings, kindnesses -- all ways to conquer hatred, misunderstanding, conflict, prejudices.  Another way to express emotion, to communicate in a common way is through the language of musical expression.  One play seen yesterday filled the space between scenes, before and after the play with Irish music.  The play, Drama at Inish, also ended with all characters waltzing in a small hotel's common room.  The first play we saw, George Bernard Shaw's Candida, had original music composed for scene changes.  Are you guessing what the primary instrument used in this original music by Reza Jacobs was?  Yes, the XYLOPHONE!  And the music augmented the meaning in the performance.

Music is a language unto itself.  The commemorations on 9/11/11 nation-wide and world-wide included music as a way to pay tribute, to be mindful, to remember.  Music can and does maintain, create and sustain peace in the world.  It can be a tool for defeating xenophobia which can quickly lead to unrest, discord, and at its worse, the most unthinkable disasters. 

So X has brought about a serious subject intertwined with the salve of music.  Think about xylophones and kindnesses as you move through the now that is today!  Kindness to others promotes peace in the world!
Good day!

You are Welcome!

W, W, W...

The word "Welcome" kept coming to mind.

You're welcome follows thank you.
You're welcome to join in.
You're welcome.

You're welcome shown by a nod of the head.
You're welcome as you're waved into traffic.
You're welcome following the two day task of taking down a fallen tree.
You're welcome.

You're welcome to speak your mind.
You're welcome to create.
You're welcome to ask for help.
You're welcome to receive help.
You're welcome.

Welcome.

Water Everywhere and Nowhere

It seems that water is in the news every day lately. Too much is causing horrific flooding in some parts of the country. Too little is contributing to raging wildfires in other parts. Yet, last week when my family had no electricity or running water for just three days, I realized that living without lights was easy, living without water was not. I was reminded that turning on the tap for a drink ( more importantly for me, to make a pot of coffee) or a jumping in the shower at the end of the day is a luxury that too many in this world do not have.

Today I made a donation to Water.org, a group whose mission is “providing safe drinking water and sanitation to people in developing countries.” And I made a commitment to my self not to take that morning cup of coffee for granted.

An Act of Kindness at the Vet

It was a total coincidence that today's act of kindness took place in a veterinarian's office during V week.  But I will just consider that perhaps it was meant to be.

I took my dog Misty to see the vet today.  She has some kind of allergy that kicks in every year about this this time. Ragweed maybe? We don't know what it is but when she starts gnawing herself throughout most of the day, it's time for a visit to the doctor.  While she and I were in the waiting room there were two women on the other side of the room holding their cat. One of them was crying and it seemed obvious why they were there.  I hoped that when they were called they did not go to the office on the far end, the one with the couch to make people more comfortable.  My family  has experienced what that room is reserved for. Sadly that was where the women and their cat were ushered.

Shortly after they went in, one of them came out alone and sat back down in the waiting room crying.   At this point she and I were the only people in the room; she on one side and I all the way on the other.  I felt like I should go to her and say or do something.  Actually, I have been in this situation before and wrote about it in my blog The Kindness of Strangers (The Right Thing Without A Thought, May 5, 2010).  When it happened previously, I very much regretted that I did nothing and decided that today would be different.

I walked over to her, taking Misty along with me.  I patted her shoulder and said that I knew that there was nothing I could say or do that would help, but I was sorry. She thanked me as she absentmindedly patted Misty on the head.  We went back to our side of the room and waited to be called for our appointment.

It was a really, really hard thing to do.  Partly because it felt awkward. Also because I worried that I was intruding on an incredibly intimate moment with a complete stranger.  And the biggest fear, I think the one that prevents many people from interacting with folks who are experiencing grief, "What if I say something or do something to make it worse?"   I'll never know for sure what the woman thought or felt about a complete stranger approaching her during her grief.  But I have to hope and believe that she experienced my gesture as it was intended, an act of kindness.