ZOUNDS!

Zounds!  This is the last posting for this ABCs of Kindness adventure!  Time flies.  And this was fun!  Many thanks to Betsy for inviting me to share it with her from z beginning to z end!  It was a privilege to write about how kindness matters.  Also thanks to anyone and everyone who read part or all of our bits.  I've indulged in another, the last, of my longer entries.

Now for this week of Zs I've become overwhelmed by all the Z words and associations with kindnesses which just happened in a relatively organic way.  To begin this Z week I went to a website I've come to enjoy called The Phrontistery (a thinking place).  This website highlights unusual words beginning with specified letters.  I do want to share some fun, seemingly random Z words.  Zarf - an ornamental holder for hot coffee cup.  I put this in for Betsy, the coffee fanatic.  Zebrinny- offspring of male horse and female zebra.  Zyzzyva (is this one great?)- a South American weevil.  Zenography - the study of Jupiter.  Zizal - a chipmunk.  Zoolatry - excessive devotion to animals or pets.  Zoopathology - the study of animal diseases.

Now these last two Z words actually do relate to my small attempt at acts of kindness within a day, Thursday of this week because Rowdy (see below), Service Dog for Therapy, needed to spend a day at the Animal Hospital/Emergency Vet for a planned day of diagnostic testing with multiple specialists.  I spent some time thinking about what the continuum for zoolatry is and how one might determine what is excessive.  I also spent time awaiting word on zoopathology related to Rowdy's gut.  

With that time I did a lot of observing of others as well as some reading and a little television viewing. The day began at 7 a.m. when Rowdy and I arrived in order to be first in line for the cardiologist.  This specialist also used his ultrasound technology to provide a preliminary look at Rowdy's intestines. Communication with GI specialist, Rowdy's primary provider at this hospital took place.  After this, time to wait.

We waited in the car and inside.  When inside, I actually saw a beautiful baby zebra on the Today Show being broadcast on the waiting room television.  (How convenient for this blog.) She had such large dark eyes and big eye lashes and striking stripes.  More waiting.  I read an article in our state's monthly magazine about the best sweets/pastries around.  Zeppoles were featured.  I decided upon a future act of kindness with these delicious Italian delicacies.  The next time I'm in the neighborhood where the bakery is that features the best zeppoles in the state, I'll buy 1/2 dozen and suggest that they be given away at random to unsuspecting but pastry seeking customers.

Next came the radiologist's first go at an ultrasound of Rowdy's belly.  That was over quickly and the radiologist explained she would share results with Rowdy's doc, the GI specialist.  More waiting.  The GI doc found us outside walking and shared the good news and the concerning news which meant the need for another more specific ultrasound with sedation of the spleen.  More waiting.

During this next spell of waiting I went to grab lunch and purchased two large tubs of chocolate chip cookies and oatmeal raisin cookies to add some potentially flavorful zest into the lives of the many working in the animal hospital.  They were received without fanfare and I hope, enjoyed in the back recesses in the staff room.    I then sat down for more observation of the comings and goings of dogs on chemo therapy, cats with diabetes, senior animals and younger mischievous types who got into something.  Each time animals and their people were reunited there was a great deal of zeal in the way they joined up.  Tails wagging, petting, high pitched voices, laps of love and important medical information imparted about needs for ongoing care etc.  As the day went on I had zero question about the dedication of all whom I witnessed working with these animals and their people.  It was impressive.

Rowdy is still in the midst of being diagnosed.  The specialists have narrowed down that there is a part of his intestine that is not functioning properly.  The reasons for this are unclear.  Some more discussion and decision making is in order.  Zoolatry- excessive devotion to animals or pets.  I'm not sure if it is possible to be excessively devoted, not after observing a day in the life of this emergency animal hospital.  Sure, one has to be able to afford the care and that's no small expense.  But who is to say that supporting a healthy life, a quality life for an animal is not worthwhile?  It is a tricky question given all that is going on in the world and all the ways kindness must be extended in order to help make the world a more peaceful place.

These thoughts infiltrated my day this week and will continue to be amidst my thoughts as I commit to taking care of Rowdy so that he can continue to provide unconditional regard in his work for those who are a part of care at a psychiatric hospital.  Meanwhile, this weekend I believe I'll make some baked ziti for a friend who just moved or for my friend's parents who are struggling with cancer.  And maybe I'll make some zucchini bread for neighbors or those at work.  No matter what, I remain committed to providing acts of kindness from A-Z.  I will also try to acknowledge those acts of kindness, large and small which I encounter from day to day!

May kindnesses abound for all you readers.

Z End

At the end of the day there is nothing better than putting your head on the pillow and catching some ZZZs.  So it seems only natural that for my last entry in the ABCs of kindness I should help someone do just that.

I thought about writing the most boring entry I could think of to help lull the reader to sleep.  But that didn't feel right.  Leaving some Ambien on a park bench for someone to find?  A bad idea on several levels.....Helping someone fall asleep is a rather tricky act of kindness.

And then it struck me. Good Night Gorilla. My all time favorite children's going to bed book ever.  I give a copy to anyone I know who is having a baby.  It is a standard gift when I'm attending a birthday party for
children five or under. And even though my boys are twelve and eleven, we still have our copy hanging around the house. Today I bought one and added it to my small pile of gifts to donate as Christmas comes closer. And I hope that some child somewhere, along with their mom or dad, enjoys the  gorilla sneaking in the house for a snuggle with the zoo keeper and his wife while the mouse with the banana keeps a watchful eye, as much as we did.

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Thank you to all who have followed this blogging adventure A to Z. Your words of encouragement and support have been the key to helping me see this project through to the end.  And of course the biggest thank you of all goes to Kim, my partner in blogging and kindness  who made this commitment along with me and helped prove that doing something with a friend is always more fun.

YOGA

Two weeks ago I was invited to participate in 30 consecutive days of yoga.  My dear friend, who lives half way across the country, explained that she, her daughter, her sister-in-law, and her niece were entering in this endeavor and would I like to join.  This invitation was the act of kindness I received.  And, as is so often the case, when kindness is given it begets kindnesses.

In this last week I have taught yoga to unknowing teenagers.  An asana (pose) here, an asana there.  The act of standing firm (mountain pose) and then reaching straight up and then rising up on tip toes with careful inhalations and exhalations, brings one to center or leads one to step to keep balance.  Still, being more aware of oneself in the now happens even briefly.

The women with whom I'm sharing this practice and I have engaged in ongoing communication about our experiences.  We share when chair pose leads to burning in the thighs and more deeply we share that shavasana or corpse pose, is about all we can muster in a day.

This week, as we share this yoga experience we are also sharing with one another in a rather sacred space and time in one woman's journey as she helps ease her father from this world to the great beyond.
I've attempted to listen to my friend's experiences of a more vast yogic practice of awareness, presence in a way that honors her every breath and her father's final breaths.  I believe the commitment to engaging with my friend and her relatives (new in my life though not quite strangers) in daily yoga and sharing the details of our lives through writing creates a circle of continuous opportunity for kindness amongst us and beyond just us.  I honor my dear friend in this difficult time and feel great gratitude for the yoga we are experiencing together and sharing with others.

The yoga will continue as Betsy and I head into our last blogging week of Z!  I can't believe it is now the week of Z!!!!!   Look out zebras, here I come!

Yo

As in Yo-Yo of course.  Since I collected some toys for X, I thought I would add a few more to add to the pile since holiday toy drives are just around the corner.  And while I am not a fan of yo-yos myself, having never mastered the skills needed to look cool playing with one, I do know my kids enjoy them.  Although, now that I think about  it, they never quite figured out how to use one either....But it doesn't seem to interfere with there enjoyment.

So come December a few more kids will have the opportunity to  conquer the timeless trick of walking the dog and whatever else people do with those things.

And now, and can hardly believe the time has come that we are on to Z!

Almost Stumped by X

I'm coming in late on this entry, a day past our self imposed deadline. Why? Because I was absolutely stumped by X.  I perused the dictionary...several times with no brilliant, or dull for that matter, ideas presenting themselves for kind acts that started with X.  Fortunately I discussed this dilemma with a co-worker  who immediately said "What about X-Men?"  Of course!  How could I be the only female living in the home with my two sons and my husband, the trio that never lets a super-hero movie opening day pass without our attendance, and not have thought of X-Men as the obvious answer?

I've purchased a couple  action figures, Wolverine and Magneto.  I have learned in my vast experience in living with boys that it is important to have a good guy and a bad guy.  They've been tucked away in my close waiting until Christmastime when they will get donated to local toy drive. 

Hopefully good and evil can co-exist until that time.

Xenophobia and Xylophones

Yes, I'm going to try and make some sort of connection here...  This may take more words than other entries.  It's a bit of an essay that follows...thank you ahead of time for proceeding, if you choose to do so.  If this warning of length leads you to choose to pass this up, please know that is fine as well...  You can proceed to your own act of kindness in the time you've saved by carrying on.

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Xenophobia is the X word that jumped into my mind many months ago when we first embarked upon this project.  I had no idea how in the world, yes, how in the WORLD, I would be able to work this in.  Xenophobia -The fear of foreign people.  Xenophobia is a word that has been actively on my mind for at least half my life, I think it's fair to say.  I realize this may sound strange to others however I have always felt passionately about the idea of giving all people a fair shake in life, no matter what.  Is that always easy to do?  No.  But, I do feel it is an essential driving force in my life.

Who knew that this very week I would be in a country other than my own?  Who knew that I would be in Logan International airport?  Who knew this week of X would fall just after the 10th Anniversary of 9/11?  This is all true.  This all happened and was not at all contrived.  Strange.

I have travelled to Canada to a small town called Niagra-on-the-Lake in Ontario.  When at Logan I was in line to prepare to go through security.  In front of me was a family from India.  There were three generations.  Grandparents, parents and one very cute, I'd say three year old girl with curly, dark brown hair and big, wide open, brown eyes.  Parents were attempting to prepare to go through all the check-points, shoes off, belongings in bin and NO DRINKS.  Well, one passenger in the family was not prepared to give up her sippie cup.  Whatever was in there was simply too good to throw out or it was simply the concept of "Mine" that was dictating the dance between parents and otherwise good natured, smiling girl.  Mother was becoming embarrassed.  She looked my way more than once.  I smiled as I exchanged looks with her.  In one more look back at me she mouthed, "I'm sorry."  I chuckled and made sure to say aloud, "No problem at all.  Don't worry about it."  She seemed to relax, maybe.  The dance continued through about two more zig zags.  I engaged in some more chat during that time.  The little girl turned her little head around like an owl to see who was talking about that cup of hers.  She laughed and held the cup tight.  While in line I noticed the high number of people with passports, with distinct clothing, and who were talking languages other than English.  I thought about how intimately involved Logan Airport was with 9/11/01.  I considered the impossibility of knowing, while standing in line, what the future holds at any point in time.  And file through the x-ray machine we did, in the name of safety.

The Indian family was on the same flight as me.  We acknowledged each other through head nods and smiles several times.  The little girl and her parents and I nodded a "so long" as they were picked up outside baggage claim.  I then travelled with my parents to this little town on Lake Ontario to spend a special week with my parents.  We are partaking in the Shaw Festival - a festival of plays that lasts from Spring through Fall each year in this town.  The streets of the town are filled with people from all over the world.  I suspected I might hear some French.  I've also heard many English/Irish/Scottish accents. There will be a play filled with Australian accents.  I've heard German, Dutch and I noted an Asian group but did not hear them as they were further up the road.  Many languages, many people.  Smiles exchanged, "hellos" as we pass on the streets.  Friendliness among people from different places.

Friendliness, smiles, acknowledgment between human beings, kindnesses -- all ways to conquer hatred, misunderstanding, conflict, prejudices.  Another way to express emotion, to communicate in a common way is through the language of musical expression.  One play seen yesterday filled the space between scenes, before and after the play with Irish music.  The play, Drama at Inish, also ended with all characters waltzing in a small hotel's common room.  The first play we saw, George Bernard Shaw's Candida, had original music composed for scene changes.  Are you guessing what the primary instrument used in this original music by Reza Jacobs was?  Yes, the XYLOPHONE!  And the music augmented the meaning in the performance.

Music is a language unto itself.  The commemorations on 9/11/11 nation-wide and world-wide included music as a way to pay tribute, to be mindful, to remember.  Music can and does maintain, create and sustain peace in the world.  It can be a tool for defeating xenophobia which can quickly lead to unrest, discord, and at its worse, the most unthinkable disasters. 

So X has brought about a serious subject intertwined with the salve of music.  Think about xylophones and kindnesses as you move through the now that is today!  Kindness to others promotes peace in the world!
Good day!

You are Welcome!

W, W, W...

The word "Welcome" kept coming to mind.

You're welcome follows thank you.
You're welcome to join in.
You're welcome.

You're welcome shown by a nod of the head.
You're welcome as you're waved into traffic.
You're welcome following the two day task of taking down a fallen tree.
You're welcome.

You're welcome to speak your mind.
You're welcome to create.
You're welcome to ask for help.
You're welcome to receive help.
You're welcome.

Welcome.

Water Everywhere and Nowhere

It seems that water is in the news every day lately. Too much is causing horrific flooding in some parts of the country. Too little is contributing to raging wildfires in other parts. Yet, last week when my family had no electricity or running water for just three days, I realized that living without lights was easy, living without water was not. I was reminded that turning on the tap for a drink ( more importantly for me, to make a pot of coffee) or a jumping in the shower at the end of the day is a luxury that too many in this world do not have.

Today I made a donation to Water.org, a group whose mission is “providing safe drinking water and sanitation to people in developing countries.” And I made a commitment to my self not to take that morning cup of coffee for granted.

An Act of Kindness at the Vet

It was a total coincidence that today's act of kindness took place in a veterinarian's office during V week.  But I will just consider that perhaps it was meant to be.

I took my dog Misty to see the vet today.  She has some kind of allergy that kicks in every year about this this time. Ragweed maybe? We don't know what it is but when she starts gnawing herself throughout most of the day, it's time for a visit to the doctor.  While she and I were in the waiting room there were two women on the other side of the room holding their cat. One of them was crying and it seemed obvious why they were there.  I hoped that when they were called they did not go to the office on the far end, the one with the couch to make people more comfortable.  My family  has experienced what that room is reserved for. Sadly that was where the women and their cat were ushered.

Shortly after they went in, one of them came out alone and sat back down in the waiting room crying.   At this point she and I were the only people in the room; she on one side and I all the way on the other.  I felt like I should go to her and say or do something.  Actually, I have been in this situation before and wrote about it in my blog The Kindness of Strangers (The Right Thing Without A Thought, May 5, 2010).  When it happened previously, I very much regretted that I did nothing and decided that today would be different.

I walked over to her, taking Misty along with me.  I patted her shoulder and said that I knew that there was nothing I could say or do that would help, but I was sorry. She thanked me as she absentmindedly patted Misty on the head.  We went back to our side of the room and waited to be called for our appointment.

It was a really, really hard thing to do.  Partly because it felt awkward. Also because I worried that I was intruding on an incredibly intimate moment with a complete stranger.  And the biggest fear, I think the one that prevents many people from interacting with folks who are experiencing grief, "What if I say something or do something to make it worse?"   I'll never know for sure what the woman thought or felt about a complete stranger approaching her during her grief.  But I have to hope and believe that she experienced my gesture as it was intended, an act of kindness.

Voltage and Irene

Well, it's not really my turn to write the blog entry first this week but my dear sister blogger has been without voltage, without power due to Irene's forceful waltz through our state.  So, I'm writing now in the hopes that by week's end she will be back on line.  I suppose you could say, it's a sort of act of kindness for me to write first.  I will call her in the morning to tell her I was moved to do this and hope it takes some pressure off.  She gets to determine whether this is kindness.

Electricity has been a prominent reality to contemplate since tropical storm Irene's entrance to our region on Sunday.  My power did go out in the morning for a brief while.  My internet, cable and phone services were down until today.  Not a big deal.  I know this because all I have to do is walk out my back door any time or look out my windows at night and I see darkness.  All my neighbors behind me have no power.  It's been three full days now.  That's a big deal.  So, I realized on Sunday I did have a way to express my gratitude for power... a vast gratitude.  I could offer outlets in my garage to my neighbors behind so they could keep their fridge on.  My neighbors were then and continue to be so thankful.  I've told them I feel guilty for having lights on at night.  The least I can do is offer my outlets.  My neighbor came over this a.m. -- a bright, vibrant, sunny morning and said she was just going to plug into my outside outlet to dry her hair.  Indeed, on my patio, in shorts and a t-shirt, she fluffed and primped with the dryer in the sun.  Did she have to take a cold or a hot shower, you wonder?  Well, her engineer hubby figured out how to hook his hot water heater up to my garage as well.  Shower was hot!

Tonight they awaited me as I arrived home.  One of the two of them had his head lamp on.  I asked what they were doing standing in the dark, leaning against the truck in their driveway.  Their answer was, "What else is there to do?"  We all laughed.  They then proceeded to thank me over and over again.  I told them to quit... they've thanked me enough.  I realized if I were in their shoes, I'd be doing the same thing.

We talked some more.  We considered how we, in our society, have gotten to a place of dependence on our water, power, technology, and fossil fuels beyond our understanding.  Is it necessary to hook up a generator to watch television?  How much food do we really need to store in our refrigerators or freezers?  How long do we need to shower?  I know I'm turning serious here.  So let me just voice this, witnessing the impact of Irene's wrath, which was not nearly as bad as it could have been, has lead me to want to share what I have and to continue to try and use less.

May sister blogger Betsy and family get back on the voltage grid soon so that she and her hubby, boys and dogs and cat can have water and power at their fingertips.
In their honor I'll continue to offer as much assistance to my neighbors as I can.  I'll also offer assistance to Betsy in the morning when I call to check in on her status.

Underwear. Ha Ha Ha

“Where is it?  Under there?  Under where?  Underwear!”  This is part of a joke I remember as a kid.  I actually don’t know the whole joke. I just recall you were supposed to somehow trick someone to say the word “underwear” and that was hilarious.  I suspect I was very young at the time….

During this week of U, the word has been stuck in my head. Taking it as a sign, I purchased several packages of underwear to donate to a local woman’s shelter.  Truth in blogging, I haven’t actually delivered them yet.  I was sidetracked from my plan by the hurricane barreling up the east coast today. More specifically I was sidetracked  by the need to spend the day clearing the yard of any furniture and debris to insure Irene has nothing to pick up and toss around as she blows through.  But I will be sure to deliver the goods next week.

I hope everyone is staying safe and dry this weekend.

The Unexpected

Today I engaged in two acts of kindness.  The first just happened in a spontaneous way.  Towards the end of the cool, summer, morning walk I noticed a woman gardening.  As I approached I was compelled to share a fact I think often but have never been able to share with her.  We made eye contact.  I said, "Good morning."  I went on to say, "I just have to tell you that I really really miss your bakery.  Do you miss it?"  You see, this family ran a local bakery in our neighborhood.  Evidently it existed for a long time in what was a neighborhood hardware store.  When I moved into the neighborhood nearly 6 years ago I saw the sign on this residential looking, odd shaped building that simply read "BAKERY".  On Thursdays the smells of cinnamon began to emanate out.  It was a Swedish Bakery known for all its delectables, especially the unique Swedish coffee bread with cardamom.  Oh their seasonal fresh fruit pies were delectable.  And, indeed, their snickerdoodles were the best I've had in a long, long time.  Ummmm ummmm good -- with a glass of cold milk!  When I asked if she missed the bakery she smiled and said, "Yes, sometimes."  They were open from Thursday through Sunday afternoon.  I let her know how much I missed the smells.  I really only went in the bakery a handful of times.  It was best for my health that way.  I loved taking their carefully made desserts to others to acknowledge celebrations, gatherings and the like.

So, the recollections of this friendly spot and the understanding that it is fun to give treats to the unsuspecting that lead to my next act.  I had errands to run prior to reporting to work.  Among them was going to the veterinary office to pick up my dog's and my cat's food.  Food is a universal expression of thanks, appreciation.  It can turn a mood from down to up.  Food can lead to purring utterances of pleasure.  So, while doing a quick grocery run I picked up a gorgeous bunch of strawberries, a package of freshly made chocolate chip cookies, and a bag of gourmet, healthy popcorn.  I felt the quantity was about right for the office personnel, vets and vet techs.  As I requested my animals' bags of food I presented a bag of treats with an upbeat, "For you all!"  Smiles happened.  Mission accomplished before the food was even sampled.

I had a duty to perform today.  I had a mission to complete the blog.  Out of the duty came two unexpected, unplanned acts which leave me feeling good, and I did not even eat any of the healthy or unhealthy treats discussed or given.  I really enjoy this undertaking -- the ABC's of Kindness!  Here's to Ur week!

A Tad about Tipping and More...

For some reason this week's entry has given me more trouble than I would have anticipated.  I mean, when you think of it, the letter "T" is one of the more prominently seen and used letters in the alphabet.  I don't have the statistics on that but, when I play scrabble I have much less challenge figuring out how to use the "T" than say, the "Q"...    Yet, in the kindness blog, for me, "Q" came with enjoyable ease.

Here's where I've landed regarding my week of "T" kindnesses.  I've been mindful of each opportunity I've had to tip.  I've pondered how, when, and why tipping became a part of conducting oneself in the world.  Mind you, I have not researched it (maybe I will now that I'm thinking about it more),  but for this week, I tipped a tad more than I might usually when getting a couple of ice coffees on a couple of mornings (I'm not quite the coffee addict my sister blogger is).  I had the opportunity to tip when getting a small grinder (sub sandwich) at a locally run joint.  I tipped at another restaurant when having brunch with friends at a super cute restaurant which uses all local ingredients.  I tipped at a local bakery after buying a couple loaves of artisan breads for a pot luck.  Tipping is a concrete way of saying "THANKS"... a really important "T" word and one used in my co-blogger's column this week.

The word "thanks" makes me meander to the "More" part of the title of this entry.  I want to reflect on a way in which I witnessed one family give a heartfelt thanks to another family at the very potluck to which I took the bread mentioned above.  This was so much fun to see.  Kids were playing in the yard.  It was dusk.  The adults were lounging on this marvelous, wide porch.  The tikki torches were lit.  Good conversation surrounded us as did the cool air.  At  a certain point in this idyllic, laid back, summer gathering I heard one mom say to another mom, "Here...  this is for you all.  Do you know where it came from?"  The one mom bestowed upon the other mom this perfectly shaped, medium sized, white pumpkin she'd just harvested from the family's vegetable garden.  She explained that this pumpkin grew out of the compost where the white pumpkin (given by the recipient's family) had been tossed after Halloween last Fall.  There was only one white pumpkin which grew in their garden.  And it was so perfectly shaped.  What a special and thoughtful gift to give this lone,unusual, rare and surprise growth of fruit to the family who gave the gift last year.
This leaves me aware that in yet another way-- what goes around comes around -- in good ways!

Thank a Teacher

I was grateful today for the opportunity to thank a teacher. For several reasons. One, because it is the week of T of course. And two, my husband is a teacher and I know first hand how dedicated most teachers are. And lastly, because it seems that presently teachers and the teaching profession are getting unfairly beat up in the media on almost a daily basis.

The opportunity came I was sitting on the beach today, away on vacation with my family. My husband and the boys had gone back to the house leaving me blissfully alone with the waves and my book. While I was there I overheard the woman next to me talking. It was apparent she was a teacher doing some preparations for the the classroom right there in her beach chair. She had several bags bulging with papers and she was busy making stars decorated with her student's pictures for the classroom. As she was cutting and pasting I heard her commenting about the names. “Oh this is an interesting spelling!” And “I've never had a student named Athena before!” It was apparent that she was very much looking forward to the start of the school year.

As I packed up my chair and book and headed back to the house I stopped by to talk with with her. It felt a little awkward at first, but I was motivated and pushed by my commitment to kindness (or at least  by the commitment that I had to write about SOMETHING). I said that I could not help overhearing her conversation and was cheered by her obvious excitement and enthusiasm. I thanked her for being a teacher and then her mother, who was sitting next to her, chimed in that she was a teacher too. We had a nice chat about teachers, teaching, politics and unexpectedly, about my sister-in-law who, as it turned out, the woman's mom knew from years back. While this wasn't totally as out of left field as it may seem since the house we are currently staying in belongs to my sister-in-law, who is graciously allowing us to spend some time here, I was pleasantly surprised that my act of kindness had morphed into a talk about family connections.  It was a fun  to hear about my brother's wife "back in the day" and about her family as well.

As I walked back to the house I was looking forward to the calling my sister-in-law with the news that I had met a long time family friend, and felt contentment that my effort to push past my comfort zone in the name of kindness with rewarded with such a happy unexpected surprise.

Serendipity

I had a plan for S week. I won't say what it was, but it was a bit contrived and sort of like fitting a round peg into a square hole to make it count for an S. But I planned to do it because it was kind, it was S week and darn it I didn't have any other ideas. But yesterday at work my colleague, who is an avid ABC's of Kindness follower—you might even call her groupie--- pointed out to me that I committed an S act for her in this very week.

She came in to the office a bit flustered because she had forgotten her lunch at home. No worries I told her, she could share mine, some salmon and a salad. At first she said no but I insisted, saying that I had plenty to share. She then accepted, and also reminded me that this could count as triple S act, salmon, salad and sharing. How serendipitous.

And here is the truth, please don't tell her but I actually didn't have enough for two people and there wasn't much left for me. But I knew I was going home early so I planned to I grab some more food at home. Maybe if it were M week I would have told her this -M- being for “martyr” but since it wasn't, I kept that information to myself.

Sinking Six and the Smiles on Saturday

In this week's ABC's of Kindness we find ourselves at S!  My how the alphabet is flying by!  So, I was sauntering about the local farmer's market after a swift, mile and a half walk in the increasingly humid summer morning.  Of course, that sweet dog of mine, Mr. Rowdy, was along for the adventure.  In fact, I believe he has significant appreciation for this particular trip as there are more than several dogs taking in the sights and smells of one another at the farmer's market --two black, standard poodles, a 4 month old French Bulldog, a senior greyhound, several, marvelous mutts, big and small, a white, shorter standard poodle, goldens, labs, teeny chiuauas, a squat corgi -- to name some .  We were stopped repeatedly by curious canine observers asking the usual questions, making similar statements: "What kind of dog is he?  My, he's so tall.  Is he a labradoodle?  What's his name?  He doesn't look rowdy.  He's so soft!  He looks like a stuffed animal!"  I enjoyed watching all the smiles of those with whom Rowdy and I spoke/"spoke" and exchanging smiles with those who walked on by.  Smiles on a beautiful, summer day!  Can't beat that.  After I circled the market to survey the offerings, I made my decisions and went back around to make my purchases.  I so appreciate the hard work that goes into bringing all the fresh fruits and vegetables to the market that I told the vendors from whom I purchased to "keep the change."  More smiles and thanks.

As Rowdy and I were heading out of the thick of the action we passed a booth set up by the local animal rescue league.  They had lots of colorful blue gear, shirts, re-usable shopping bags and the like.  They also had a clear donation box.  I had some left over silver and paper in my pocket from the day's farmer's market budget.  As the gentleman sitting behind the table exclaimed his appreciation of my furry friend I stuffed some silver plus six dollars into the box in the hopes that it would help the animal rescue league continue their humane works to help local animals find good homes but first eat well and have a toy or two while awaiting their perfect placement.  After a nice talk with the volunteer about the work the rescue league is doing and about the dog he is planning to adopt soon and with whom he is hoping to do animal assisted therapy type work, Rowdy and I made our way the mile and a half back to our car.  This was more of a stroll as I was carrying veggies and fruits while sipping an ice coffee and savoring the smiles and chats had at the fresh farmer's market visit.   My small acts of kindness seemed to be a bit among probably many kind words and acts from others, concentrated in a singular park in one part of a city on a summer Saturday morning.  It felt special to me in a simple sort of way.

Smiles to all you readers!

Raffi

I've been looking forward to R because I used to love listening to the children's singer song writer Raffi when my boys were little.  They liked him too but not as much as I did.  I still smile when we remember singing  the Joshua Giraffe song while driving in the car with them.  My older son just rolls his eyes when we mention it but the younger one readily admits there is still a place in his heart for Baby Beluga.

So this weeks act of kindness was easy.  I made a CD of children's music for a few of my friends with little one's  younger than mine.  Not all Raffi, but he was more than reasonably represented.  A sign of the changing times however.....Only a few of my friends still listen to CD's in the car.  Most just plug their ipods in.  Alas, good things come to those who are behind the time- a new eclectic, fabulous (if I do say so myself) collection of children's music to rock out to while driving.

Raffi Rocks!

Quidditch and Reading!

While my sister blogger made her contribution regarding Q kindnesses within the week of Q, I am screeching in late with Q but am on top of R!

This week will include donating three Harry Potter books in the name of a good summer read AND to introduce the awesome game of Quidditch to those who've not learned of it.  If I could find a good Quidditch team to join (even in my middle age) I would!  The thrill of flying, grabbing the snitch, dodging the opponent...  Oh, sorry, got lost in that fantasy AGAIN!

In reality I do believe that reading, having the opportunity to escape through imagination, is a super important skill to acquire from a young age.  If the three recipients of the Harry Potter books don't know of this joy of reading, I genuinely hope Quidditch sparks their interest (and yours?) to read more and maybe even invent an exciting game of her/his own!  READ ON!

Quite a Quandary

Just a little over a week ago I was writing about the wealth of choices with regards to acts of kindness that start with P. At the time, I didn't even consider the dearth of possibilities with Q. Quiz? Quick? Quality? Quote? None of these choices were inspiring and the week went by without an original idea. I was in a.......quandary.

The word that kept floating to the top of the list as I pondered was “quintuple.” But I couldn't think of a correlating act of kindness. For a few days I just hoped I would run into a set of quintuplets on whom that I could bestow some fascinating act of kindness. Alas, by the end of today when it still hadn't happened, I knew I needed to be proactive. I placed a donation of five jars of peanut butter in the collection box at the grocery store for the local food pantry. I considered donating five bags of quinoa, but I know that not every one loves that type thing and I thought leaving food people hate just to fulfill my blog duties would be a little....unkind.

I'm relieved to have Q week behind me. Good riddance and onward to R......

Positivity

First, I must say, my co-blogger's "P" entry has me quaking (oh, that could be included in next week's blog) in my boots.  She turned so many clever phrases as she exclaimed her ultimate act of "P" kindness!  Well done, blogging pal!

Now it is my turn.  Actually I think it was my turn when Betsy took her turn.  I'm rather glad she went first as it has taken some effort for me to actually get to my act this week.

I've had to work hard at work to present with positivity.  Today I chose to honor the very powerful, strong efforts of my co-workers by making the extra effort to notice and express positive work noticed.  I also practiced what I often preach to parents with whom I met -- catch people doing well as opposed to focusing on that which is not going well.  I tried to proclaim the proofs of thoughtfulness, compassion, cooperation, helpfulness as often as I noted them in the adolescents and families with whom I work.

Positivity is intangible.  It's not always measurable.  Yet somehow, when conversation is infused with it, smiles come more readily and communication flows more easily.  When there is a group of folk exposed to such optimism, the ripple effects are experienced.

Here's to taking note of the positive, you know, like the song says: Accentuate the positive.  Eliminate the negative...

It can't always be done but by golly it was worth the effort today.

The Pressures of P

Initially I was pleased that P week was approaching.  Pondering possible of  acts that could start with P was pleasant as they seemed plentiful.   Peonies, pinatas, pandas, and pets. Popcorn, pizza, planet and poodle.  Each pointed to a possibility that could be poignant, playful or pleasant.

I patiently reviewed possible plans.  But then I started feeling pressure… The plethora of options was problematic. I wanted to perform the perfectly planned act of P kindness.  Panic permeated.. P week was passing by and I had yet to publish a post.

Today I could postpone it no more. I punted, repeating a previous plan (A Is For A Lot of Things). Snacks were purchased for my place of employment. Peaches, plums and peanuts  placed on the the kitchen table made me popular with my peers, even if it wasn't the perfectly planned  act that I had pondered.

Oceanside with Olivia

Today was a spectacular New England summer day.  It was also the day of committing an act of kindness conceived when the blog first began and the letter "O" was being considered.  I recall "Ocean" came to mind.  This lead to today's trash collection on a relatively narrow but long stretch of sandy, seaweedy beach in town.  I spontaneously phoned a friend and asked if she and her sweet daughter would like to join me during this oceanside hour of trash collection/disposal.

Join me they did at a park they've never experienced though it is only a few miles from their home as well. We donned our garden gloves.  One of us carried the recycle bag, another carried the trash bag and the third used her young, eagle eyes to spot refuse dirtying the shoreline.  I now must mention that this day of oceanside trash collection was made even more perfect because Eagle Eyes has a name fit for this very entry because, you guessed it, her name begins with "O."  OLIVIA gave me permission to shout out her good deed done and use her name since it fits so perfectly into the ABC's of Kindness.  We accomplished a lot in our hour of collection.  Styrofoam galore and glass, glass and more glass.  Our recycle bag was filled as was our heavily laden trash bag.  There was a family and their little seagull chasing dog, Bubba, who took time to thank us for picking up.  There was a gentleman who requested we figure out a way to clear the bugs as well as the trash.  Olivia explored the many different kinds of seaweed ashore and held her nose due to that unique, salty, low tide odor.  A tug boat worked hard to push a barge into the harbor.  Sailboats tilted and spotted the horizon.  The sky was blue with white, puffy clouds and bright sun.  A breeze blew lightly.

At the end of our endeavors ice cream treats were purchased.  Olivia had Cake Batter ice cream.  Carolyn had Maine Blueberry, and I had Black Raspberry yogurt.  Umm umm good.  Then Olivia was the recipient of an act of kindness at the carousel we were planning to ride.  She was given a ticket for a ride by a thoughtful older woman.  Just like on the carousel, what goes around comes around.  It sure did on this perfect summer day!

Thanks for joining me OLIVIA and Carolyn!  It was a great day of "O" kindnesses.

Ouch!

" I need a band-aid!" is a phrase often heard in my house. Thankfully, my sons, 11 and 12,  are finally starting to outgrow the phase when a band-aid is required for every single scratch that produces a spot of blood that is barely visible.

Being raised in the baby boom era as the youngest of seven children, I was used to the rule that a band-aid is NOT required unless an artery was severed. So I have turned out to be the kind of mother who is usually not  able to locate a band-aid when my kids think one is necessary. It hasn't been a problem since I can usually find a mother with a well equipped purse. The kind of mom who would never dream of leaving the house without a small selection of first aid items easily accessible. The kind who doesn't do it on purpose, but always makes me feel a little inadequate.

Today, in honor of “O” which obviously stands for ouch, I left a brand new box of band-aids on the table outside of a store near my house with a note that read “If you find this, it is yours. You never know when you might need one.” I'm hoping it will be found by a person like myself, who can never readily put her hands one when a spot of blood appears. But it's OK if one of those well prepared moms finds it. I may need to ask her for one in the future.

Kindly Notice This

When I was getting my morning coffee today and pondering what “N” act of kindness I could blog about, I noticed that the woman who waited on me had gotten a new hairstyle since the last time I was in the shop. I commented how nice it looked.

It was one of those things that I very possibly could have missed by being stuck in my own thoughts and not even noticed. That was it! Notice starts with “N” and it can be kind to notice things--- like someone's lovely new hairdo. So I committed right then and there (in my head, not out loud, that would have been weird) to make a point of noticing things today.

I noticed that a young woman I met, the sister-in-law of a friend, had a beautiful smile and I told her so. I noticed that the woman in the store was very helpful when I was trying to find a specific item and I told her so too. I noticed that the man in the big SUV was trying to merge into traffic ahead of me so I let him(extra notice points here, because I think I subconsciously am biased against people in big SUVs). I noticed a piece of trash on the ground near my car at work and I picked it up and threw it in the dumpster. I could go on with a few more things I noticed, but I suspect by now you've got the point.

I'm also aware that it can be unkind to notice things. Do you tell someone you notice their shirt doesn't match their pants? That you DON'T like their new hairdo? That they have spinach in their teeth? OK, that one can go either way. Perhaps this can be explored more fully in the ABC's of Unkindness. But for today, I noticed with kind intent.

Nice

The letter N brings to mind a number of words which relate to kindness, strangers, and my experiences of the last several days.  "Nice" is the words which encapsulates the others which include NEADS (National Education for Assistance Dog Services), nods, neighbors (of my parents whom I did not know until this past week), and navigating, to name a few.

My road trip has concluded.  I am taking a bit of time to compose this brief entry before returning to work.  As I reflect on the important time I had with family and friends I also recognize that Rowdy, trained by the fine folks affiliated with NEADS, had his ongoing impact on people throughout our time away, namely the neighbors up the street and across the street from my parents.  I had very pleasant conversations with all, initially about Rowdy but then about various other things like gardening, fond memories of one's college days back East, deer, birds, ground cover (native versus invasive), one of the neighbor's beloved dogs.  I'm not sure I would have learned as much about these others if not for the ever present, fluffy ice breaker.  Also, while driving and stopping along the way, I made it a point to nod, to make eye contact more than I generally have, when running in for a pit stop, getting a drink, and, of course, walking and watering the pup.  Yesterday I actually had a number of exchanges with a young family including their dog and young baby which concluded with mutual wishes for a safe journey to one another.  As navigation on a long throughway continued, I was left with a strong feeling of just how nice it can be to really notice the little, genuine ways exchanges between people can impact moods.  

The way the word NICE is resonating in my mind is difficult to describe but I imagine many of you, at least in this country, have heard it said when one experiences something as really, really nice.  It's sounds something like this:  Naaahhhiiiicccceee - with a little sort of hiccup in there for added emphasis.

I am grateful for that sort of NICE vacation that included many fine times with strangers, friends and family!  Wishing you readers nice moments in the days and weeks ahead!

Mighty Fine Folk Whose Names Begin with M

On this magnificent seventh day of my vacation I drove to the sixth state on my journey to visit with my dear friend Mary and her dog Roxy.  I packed a healthy picnic lunch which we ate in a park neither of us had visited in a town neither of us knew.  We met there because it was nearly half way for both of us, here in the Midwest.  Our dogs had a fine time playing, running about, sniffing everywhere, lying in the shade of huge, mature trees.  Mary and I realized we'd not seen one another in just over a year but it's as if no time had passed.  We concluded our visit with a cone of frozen custard for each of us and cups of vanilla with a small milk bone for each pup.  Lucky dogs!

On my forth day of vacation my father and I stopped in Upstate NY to experience the hospitality of my second cousin, my father's first cousin, Marion.  She provided a dinner al fresco in her back yard which backs up the farm on which she grew up in the town where my grandmother was born and reared before she ventured off to college in Michigan many a year ago.  Before we left the following morning, we visited the art center she has been instrumental in starting and fostering.  She supports local artists and encourages all to learn and grow through exposure to the arts.

So it is true that these two women are not strangers to me yet their kindnesses towards me are remarkable to me...  If I did not have the experiences of meaningful times with both I would be poorer.  And it is their kindnesses which foster my ability to think about ways to be kind to others.

I plan to take garlic from my parents' garden to Marion for her garden and I will.  We did take her this marvelous multi grain bread from a local bakery near my house.  She oooed and ahhhhed as her memory of this bread from Christmas time when I gave her 1/2 a loaf was of great goodness in the bread.  As I sat with Mary and the dogs on this 90 degree day, all of us licking our ice cream, a man walked up the street, waiting for his bus.  He was watching the dogs with a smile and I said "hello."  We had a brief, friendly conversation.  I intend to contribute to the art center my second cousin has supported all these years because I believe in the mission.  Maybe these actions will ripple outward to more strangers.  Who knows?  I write about these past days and some small acts of kindness as I continue to contemplate how to be deliberately kind daily whether to strangers or to those near and dear.

Mom

Yesterday was the 27^th of the month, also known as Give Flowers to a Stranger Day. Full disclosure here, I totally forgot. However, it just so happened that I was shopping for flowers on that very day. For my mom no less. Which starts with M. And it's M week of course here on the ABC's of Kindness. Coincidence? Fate? I'm not sure, so I'll just go with dumb luck.

A tough day for my family today; we are moving my mom to a nursing home where my father recently needed to go. It was a difficult decision for all, one everyone hopes and prays that they never have to make. I bought the flowers so they will be in her room when she and I arrive. My hope is to provide some welcoming brightness and beauty. I also spent the weekend printing and framing pictures to cover her walls.

I realize however, that these efforts are as much for me as they are for her. In all likelihood the pictures will not bring her peace and she will not notice the lovely pink roses as she tries to comprehend her new reality. They serve primarily to help me feel like I have done all that I am capable of to make sure that she is safe and well as she can be.

As I prick my finger making an arrangement in the vase, I wonder about the wisdom of making such a thorny choice. And I wish I were just thinking about the flowers.

L' Chaim

L' Chaim is Hebrew for “to life.” And what better way to celebrate L week than to do something that may help someone live.

About 10 years ago I signed up and was registered with the National Bone Marrow Registry because a colleague was battling leukemia and needed a transplant. I'm not proud of this but over the years I occasionally get reminders to update my contact information and have ignored them. It was a combination of being lazy and the worry about the pain and discomfort that I might endure if I were a match. Which of course is absolutely nothing compared to having cancer. But I did say I'm not proud of this, and I'm being honest here.

Yesterday I want onto the website and added my cell phone number and my email address. My home address and phone are the same, and I took comfort knowing that if I had been found to be a match for someone in the past 10 years, they would have been able to track me down.  And now I can rest assured that there are no doubts that I will be found if there is a need.

 L' Chaim

Two Little Ladies

It is L week and the beginning of this day lead to my attempt to act kindly.  I was driving to work and noticed that a ways down the street there were two older people walking.  As I drew closer and looked a little more closely and then passed, it appeared as though one of these people had fallen.  One leg was on the sidewalk and the other was on the street.  The position appeared awkward and the other person was leaning over.  I realized that what I initially thought was a carriage (I only saw the wheels) was actually a walker with attachments.  By the time it all registered I was past the pair and at the intersection.  I took a right and then another right into the bank in order to get back to the pair.  As I passed them on the other side of the street and looked more closely, both were curbside, sitting down.  It did not look as dire but then again, I thought, maybe the one couldn't help the other up.  I deliberated with myself.  Do I stop or not?  I turned onto the next block, parked, and took a walk up the road.  I approached and still was uncertain about the situation.  One woman was smoking.  The other woman, the one who appeared rather pale, almost gray skinned, was the one who seemingly had fallen.  I asked if the two were okay.  Both older ladies looked up and said, "Yes, we're just taking a rest."   I was not convinced and explained a bit further that I'd worried one had fallen.  They reiterated that they were just taking a rest and said "thank you."

As I walked back to my car, I thought to myself that I most likely would not have stopped if it were not for the lessons learned from the experience of keeping this blog and the experience of having read Betsy's blog.  I am glad the two little ladies were resting and not in a more precarious situation.  I am also grateful to Betsy for leading me to this place of more careful living in the moment and being aware of how I might live kindness more deeply and more often throughout each day.

Kumquats and Kibble Kindle Kindness

Kim has been keen on kindnesses involving the letter K.  After all, the letter K has been with her all her life.  Yet, it was not at all clear what she (I am writing in the third person, I know) would do.  Strangely things happened which lead to this weeks' kindnesses towards strangers and co-workers.  The first act derived from a decision to share the sweetest cantaloupe Kim's cut up in a very long time.  Co-workers have been working extra hard, stretched to their limits over these last several months - the 2pm meeting would be the perfect place to share it.  It was a hit.  One person kept getting up, walking across the room and once exclaimed, "I can't stop!"  Just the satisfied response Kim desired.  Along with the cantaloupe (which sounds as though it could start with K) Kim brought kumquats -- a little known, olive sized, orange, citrus fruit.  Kim had it for the first time in a delectable salad at a new neighborhood restaurant a few weeks ago.  It was sliced thin and candied.  A few days after experiencing the first taste of kumquat Kim purchased a small container, arrived home and while talking with her parents took her first taste of a whole fruit.  She popped the smooth, oval in her mouth --  Wooooooeeeeeeyyyyyy!  Imagine that tart, squinched up face some make when sucking on a lemon wedge and multiply that by a bit more.  Kim tried one more and realized this was an eating adventure to share along with that cantaloupe.    Those kumquats were enjoyed by many in the meeting and chased with the sweet cantaloupe.  "Aha," said Kim, "it's K week and we ate kumquats!"

A few days later Kim was informed that a good friend had entered a Relay for Life, fundraiser raffle in an effort to win the sweet poodle (of Kim's) a gift basket for dogs, and win she did!  Kim drove over to her friend's home after leaving work at about 9:15pm Wednesday night.  Out came the lucky winner in her pj's.  She popped her trunk and voila!  Jackpot!   Rowdy (the standard poodle - see Engage and Express for photo) was right there to give the whole trunk a major sniffing!  He was beside himself!  He won a prize from one of his favorite friends and then Kim had to come along and kill all the fun.  Kim explained to her winning friend that Rowdy's stomach has been especially sensitive for unknown reasons for the last several months and so his diet has been significantly limited.  Kim did open one box of quality biscuits, gave him two and crossed her fingers that all would remain well with that pooch's stomach. (It did!)  Kim explained to wonderful friend that the winnings would make a great donation to the local SPCA.  Thursday morning Kim dropped off the huge box of dog biscuits allegedly worth approximately $125 along with the basket filled with kibble, teeth cleaning kits, a new brush and an extend-a-leash.  As she drove away from the shelter, Kim explained to Rowdy that he never could have gotten through that huge box of treats before they went stale anyway.  Rowdy must have agreed that the large number of abandoned canines (sounds like a K) at the shelter deserve those treats.  He remembered that Kim did keep that one small box of biscuits and so, settled into his ride to work without a second thought about that basket.  A marvelous 70 degree breeze blew through his long, flowing ears.

Kind Starts With K......

If you happen to be a scrabble player you know that a K is worth 5 points, which is a lot in that particular game. This is because it is not is not always easy to find a way to use it. And I found this to be true in trying to think of an act of kindness that starts with K. I considered using it as a wild card. Kind starts with K, so really I could do anything and it would count, right? But I suspected there might be someone out there who would view that as a bit of a cop out.

I settled on “kisses” which is an awesome “k” word easily associated with kindness. My first thought was to bring some chocolate ones to work and put a couple in everyone's mailbox. But I feared that my kind intent would be clouded by someone's interpretation that I was interfering with their commitment to eat healthy. While I may view a chocolate kiss as a kind treat, someone else might view it as a tool of sabotage.

So I brought the whole bag to my mom. She hasn't been eating as much as she should lately, and I think that if you are in your 80's, you absolutely should get to eat all the chocolate you want. And when I said goodbye I gave her a real kiss too. I'm considering this my K act of kindness, squared.

It's J Week and That's No Joke

On the way home from picking my kids up from school earlier this week we were stuck in traffic during some construction. One of the orange clad men on the site noticed my son and approached the car. He indicated that he wanted us to roll down the window. At first blush this seemed a bit odd with the the potential to be creepy. But he was a older gentleman (and as I age, the definition of “older” changes with some regularity) and my gut feeling was that he was not ill intended. Besides, we were surrounded by cars and construction workers so it seemed safe enough.

I rolled down the window and he pointed at my son and said “What has two knees and swims in the ocean?” The traffic started to move and we needed to pull away. The pressure was too much and we both responded that we didn't know. “A tunee fish” the man replied as we drove off.

We laughed, not really because it was funny, but at the surprise and joy of a stranger approaching us for the sole reason of telling a joke. And all at once it occurred to me; being  kindness in the week of J we must tell him a joke right back! Because this particular road construction project had been going on for some time (laying of sewer pipes for those interested in details) there was a good chance we would have the opportunity later in the week.

We prepared. What happened to duck who flew upside down? He had a quack up. We planned. The next time we saw the man, I would slow the car, my son would roll down the window and tell the joke.

Alas, by end of the week the opportunity eluded us. By the time we came home from school each afternoon the construction was shut down for the day. And the week of J concluded without us completing our task. But as we move onto K week, my son has vowed to accomplish his mission. The joke will be told at the first opportunity regardless of what letter is featured.

A Little Joy in June?

So, I was driving from my regular eye check up with dilated eyes and sunglasses, of course, and listening to the radio.  My plan was to return home directly in order to prepare for and get to work.  Like I said, the radio was on, NPR, to be precise.  The local news stated that the fire stations of Massachusetts were collecting donations for the people of the Springfield area who were so badly effected by the unusual and damaging F3 tornado.  They especially needed tarps, bungee cords and bottled water.  Immediately I thought of Betsy's many Kindness of Strangers posts in which she spoke about the importance of acting promptly, without procrastination, when a thought of kindness occurs.  I knew who sells water, tarps and bungee cords.  And, in fact, it's a store whose name has a J right in it - our local Job Lot.  So, I made my purchases (with sunglasses on inside the store).  In addition to the above mentioned items I also chose to purchase a gift card.  The woman who was checking out was about to bag the card.  I asked, kindly, I trust, if she could leave it out.  We bagged up the rest of the items.  I paid and then pushed the card back towards her on the counter, leaned forward and said, "Can you please take this and give it to a person you feel may need it?"  She looked at me as though I had several heads.  Well, I was wearing sunglasses inside, and then she smiled quizzically.  I pushed it a little closer to where her hands were and added -  that it is a bit random but "I'm hoping it will be a bit of kindness for someone."  She smiled again, this time less quizzically and tucked it next to her register.

The tarps, water and bungee cords were dropped off at a Massachusetts fire station not too far from where I was.  The reception man behind the "Communications" window at the safety complex said, "I'll get you a firefighter," when I explained I had a small donation to make and was it true they were collecting for Springfield.  I laughed at that phrasing, and then thanked the young man who helped me transfer the goods from my car to the station.  He explained that two firefighters from that station had gone to Springfield that morning for work detail.

While I don't consider tarps, bungee cords and bottled water to imply joy, nor is the reason for the donation related to anything but recovering from great difficulties.  I do imagine that feeling recovered will lead to joy.  It's going to be a long road for some that will require tools to get them there.  Tarps, bungee cords and the like.  It is the juxtaposition of the green and blue coverings with white, blue and yellow cords with what they will lead to -- a full recovery, I hope, that lead me to yesterday's deeds.  And I did experience joy in my exchanges with the woman at Job Lot, and with those at the Safety complex.  My good fortune among many, in June.

Wishing all you readers bits of Joy in June!

Inspired by the Isle of Iona

Indeed, last year I traveled to a remote Isle off the coast of the Highlands of Scotland.  It is called Iona.  Back when Betsy asked me to participate in this Kindness adventure with her I sat down, pulled out my pen and paper and went through the alphabet just to see what came to mind for each letter.  For the record I've veered away from initial ideas at least a couple times thus far.  But for the letter "I" I've been unable to move away from Iona though I was not clear how my experiences there would lead to an Act of Kindness towards a stranger here until today.

Today I've identified an organization which provides scholarships for the thorough and professional training of sign language interpreters for those who are deaf or hard of hearing.  How does this connect to Iona?  Well, I traveled abroad with my very good friend from the Midwest whom I've known since we shared our graduate school experience.  She is deaf.  We were traveling with a group of hearing people.  She and I knew only three people in our group.  I know some sign language and no one else knew sign.  We lived on the Isle of Iona in the Abby and experienced the amazing hospitality of the Iona Community.  The experience was enhanced for my friend and me because of the intensity associated with me attempting to sign or write for her all that was being experienced through my ears -- the airport announcements for our flights, the information given on our Scottish ferry rides including when they changed the spoken word from English to Gaelic, the sounds of bleating sheep and lambs, and warbling puffins, historical information about Glasgow on our coach tour, translating lyrics to music sung ("You take the High Road and I'll take the Low Road...") and so much more.

The magical inspiration for this blog was how a Scottish woman, a leader in the Iona Community, extended herself throughout the week in countless ways to incorporate my dear friend into all that was happening, into all communications, formal or informal, planned or impromptu.  This woman knew no sign language.  She had a rich Scottish accent which prevented my friend from lip reading, yet through the week, the relationship which evolved between my friend and her served to shrink the gap between the hearing world which dominated and my friend's world.  It served to demonstrate the importance of being aware of those around us and what each of us can do to shrink differences enough to allow for learning and growth through exchange with one another, no matter how challenging.

Before, during and after being on Iona I wondered what my friend's experience would have been if I was actually an interpreter or if there were interpreter services available to us for the trip.  This morning it came to me -- my idea to contribute to a national organization dedicated to promoting the professional standards and to educating sign language interpreters for people who are deaf or hard of hearing.  I figure if I can contribute to a scholarship fund then I am supporting, in a small way, the notion that all people deserve an equal opportunity to participate in "listening" and communicating whether hearing or not.

Imagine being on a remote island in another country and having no one with whom you could communicate with ease.  Just imagine.


ADDENDUM:
Incidentally, on my morning stroll (6/3/11) I met up with my neighbor and learned that a serious act of kindness was committed last week by lawn mowers!  See  Helpin' and Hollerin' from last week's H entries.  Unbeknownst to my neighbors some other kind soul decided that it would be kind to shorten their grass.  By the way, the other kind folk did a better job than I would have as they took a rake to the mowed grass.  Nice work!

I Scream, You Scream

We all scream for ice cream. And I almost screamed when I saw how much it cost.

A natural for kindness in the week of “I” was ice cream. It's the beginning of summer, the weather is finally warm and the ice cream stand we pass on the way home from my kids school has been open for over a month. It it is one of those places designed to get the attention of children driving by. Painted in bright colors and decorated like a pirates ship, this place makes kids beg to stop. And my younger son is no different. He had asked already several times this spring but my husband  refused because he claimed it was too expensive. Today I picked up the boys from school and temporarily won favored parent status when I announced we would stop for ice cream.

As we stood reviewing the choices (of which there were a zillion) I was reveling in my boys' happiness. Until I saw the prices. Holy mackerel! I could have bought several gallons for what it was going to cost me. I did keep my surprise to myself and resisted the urge to drag the kids back into the car. They placed their orders and I, giving in to the moment, ordered a scoop too. And in honor of the kindness of “I” I bought a five dollar gift certificate and instructed the young woman waiting on us to give it to the first customer who came after we left.

And here is the truth. It was the absolute best caramel peanut butter cookie dough ice cream I have EVER had.

Not Quite Flowers for a Stranger

Today is the 27th of the month which is of course, Give Flowers to a Stranger Day. ( For those of you who don't know, Give Flowers To a Stranger Day happens on the 27^th of every month. For more in depth history of this very special holiday, take a look at "It's That Time Again...Flower's for a Stranger." ) I must admit, celebrating H on GFTSD started as somewhat of a challenge.  A quick internet search of flowers that begin with H revealed a long list of names I did not recognize or could not pronounce.  There were  a couple I thought about, hibiscus and hydrangea.  Both beautiful and both a bit hard to come by this time of the season. 

The one that stood out for me was hostas.  I don't  usually think of this as a flower, more of  a shade plant that throws a few stems of flowers later in summer.  But then I realized that the hostas were actually the perfect plant for this day.

When we moved to this home over 10 years ago, my mom brought us many buckets of perennials from her yard, including a few different kinds of hostas. Not knowing anything about landscaping or what kind of flowers should go where, I threw them into one area of my yard and forgot about them.  By last year they had multiplied into many disorganized clumps, clearly with the potential to beautify my yard, but in need of some guidance to do so.  Along came two of my oldest friends to spend the day with me digging, dividing and planting.  And this spring I have an amazing shade garden with an assortment of hostas that are placed just right.  When I look I see  not only the perfectly placed plants, but the kindness and friendship they represent.  I love seeing part of my mom's garden in my yard and I love that my friends helped create it.

Today I dug up a few of those perfectly placed hostas to give to my friends who help me.  Not quite flowers for a stranger, but it seemed right nonetheless.

Helpin' and Hollerin' in the Neighborhood

Hello to our new and faithful followers of the ABCs of Kindness.

This is the week of H.

Last night as I returned home from work at a relatively late hour, I saw my neighbor was getting out of her car.  She said, "Hi Kim" before I got my evening greeting out of my mouth.  I said a hearty "hello" back and then quickly hollered out, "Hey, I was wondering... when your grass gets to be like it is now, with all our rain etc, would you like me to cut it?  I really do like mowing the lawn!"  By now we'd met in the puddle filled street.  She was petting Rowdy. (You followers now know him.  For those of you who don't, check out www.abcofkindness.blogspot.com Engage and Express entry)  She smiled and said, "Absolutely and I'll make a trade with you for something else."  I said, "No no, really I'd like to do it but did not want to mow if you had bigger plans, like baling hay or something."  We laughed, chatted a bit more about stuff and headed our separate ways.

This morning when I awoke I saw the weather was clear enough (we've had tons of rain).  As I left for the morning walk with the dog I planned to return and mow that lawn.  It would take all of 15 minutes.  I was excited to help out and be outside before heading to work.  As the 30 minute walk came to an end I rounded the corner and to my great dismay a landscaping pair was packing up their mowers and rakes after having completed "my" job.  I was very sad to not be able to help.  It was the topic of today's blog.  It was all planned out.

Then I chuckled to myself and thought, "See, that just goes to show that one can not predict the future...gotta go with the flow."  I do not believe my neighbor knew that the guys were coming by to mow.  They don't always work on their yard.  Her husband must have known his limitations with time etc. and took care of lining up the guys to help out.  I certainly don't know but I can imagine that as a possibility.  Also, neither my neighbor nor I knew last night that I was contemplating mowing today and that the mowing might be woven into this blog.

So for the blog I was left thinking... How do I help out my neighbors?  What acts of kindness do I extend in the hood?  And what can I continue to do?  Friendly Hellos, like the one last night and the one with another neighbor and his little dog this morning;  bringing in the trash cans and recycle bins from the road for the next door neighbors;  hanging with the 5 year old from next door and letting her pick flowers from the garden.  All of these acts have taken place this week.  I just did not get to mow that lawn!

I plan to keep hollerin' out and helpin' when I can, in the neighborhood.

Gift Giving

This week of G's in the ABC's of Kindness has lead me to really think about Gift Giving.  I've always loved giving gifts.  So, I looked up the word "gift" on dictionary.com.  Here is what I found.

"something given  voluntarily without payment in return, as to show favor toward someone, honor an occasion, or make a gesture of assistance; present.

the act of giving.

something bestowed or acquired without any particular effort by the recipient or without its being earned: Those extra points he got in the game were a total gift.

a special ability or capacity; natural endowment; talent: the gift of saying the right thing at the right time."

It's an easy word to define, among words, yet the act of giving and/or receiving a gift is not always a simple type of act.  I do believe giving or receiving a gift is an act of kindness which can be filled with a certain grace.

This week I thought about, gave and received gifts.  I'll list gifts either given (to someone by me) or received (by me from someone else).  A game of Scrabble, a coffee shop gift card, two bouquets of flowers, coverage for time away from work, words of genuine thanks, words of genuine forgiveness, a shared ride in my car to a meeting away from work, several thoughtful, good phone chats with friends, a butterfly stepping stone around which I built a walkway in my yard, a treat for a dog, a smile, humor, listening ears, the sound of my purring cat, johnny jump ups, grape, strawberry and raspberry honey sticks, loading the dishwasher, compliments on a beautiful garden.  What gifts did you give or receive this week?