Today is the 27th of the month which is of course, Give Flowers to a Stranger Day. ( For those of you who don't know, Give Flowers To a Stranger Day happens on the 27th of every month. For more in depth history of this very special holiday, take a look at "It's That Time Again...Flower's for a Stranger." ) I must admit, celebrating H on GFTSD started as somewhat of a challenge. A quick internet search of flowers that begin with H revealed a long list of names I did not recognize or could not pronounce. There were a couple I thought about, hibiscus and hydrangea. Both beautiful and both a bit hard to come by this time of the season.
The one that stood out for me was hostas. I don't usually think of this as a flower, more of a shade plant that throws a few stems of flowers later in summer. But then I realized that the hostas were actually the perfect plant for this day.
When we moved to this home over 10 years ago, my mom brought us many buckets of perennials from her yard, including a few different kinds of hostas. Not knowing anything about landscaping or what kind of flowers should go where, I threw them into one area of my yard and forgot about them. By last year they had multiplied into many disorganized clumps, clearly with the potential to beautify my yard, but in need of some guidance to do so. Along came two of my oldest friends to spend the day with me digging, dividing and planting. And this spring I have an amazing shade garden with an assortment of hostas that are placed just right. When I look I see not only the perfectly placed plants, but the kindness and friendship they represent. I love seeing part of my mom's garden in my yard and I love that my friends helped create it.
Today I dug up a few of those perfectly placed hostas to give to my friends who help me. Not quite flowers for a stranger, but it seemed right nonetheless.
Friday, May 27, 2011
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Helpin' and Hollerin' in the Neighborhood
Hello to our new and faithful followers of the ABCs of Kindness.
This is the week of H.
Last night as I returned home from work at a relatively late hour, I saw my neighbor was getting out of her car. She said, "Hi Kim" before I got my evening greeting out of my mouth. I said a hearty "hello" back and then quickly hollered out, "Hey, I was wondering... when your grass gets to be like it is now, with all our rain etc, would you like me to cut it? I really do like mowing the lawn!" By now we'd met in the puddle filled street. She was petting Rowdy. (You followers now know him. For those of you who don't, check out www.abcofkindness.blogspot.com Engage and Express entry) She smiled and said, "Absolutely and I'll make a trade with you for something else." I said, "No no, really I'd like to do it but did not want to mow if you had bigger plans, like baling hay or something." We laughed, chatted a bit more about stuff and headed our separate ways.
This morning when I awoke I saw the weather was clear enough (we've had tons of rain). As I left for the morning walk with the dog I planned to return and mow that lawn. It would take all of 15 minutes. I was excited to help out and be outside before heading to work. As the 30 minute walk came to an end I rounded the corner and to my great dismay a landscaping pair was packing up their mowers and rakes after having completed "my" job. I was very sad to not be able to help. It was the topic of today's blog. It was all planned out.
Then I chuckled to myself and thought, "See, that just goes to show that one can not predict the future...gotta go with the flow." I do not believe my neighbor knew that the guys were coming by to mow. They don't always work on their yard. Her husband must have known his limitations with time etc. and took care of lining up the guys to help out. I certainly don't know but I can imagine that as a possibility. Also, neither my neighbor nor I knew last night that I was contemplating mowing today and that the mowing might be woven into this blog.
So for the blog I was left thinking... How do I help out my neighbors? What acts of kindness do I extend in the hood? And what can I continue to do? Friendly Hellos, like the one last night and the one with another neighbor and his little dog this morning; bringing in the trash cans and recycle bins from the road for the next door neighbors; hanging with the 5 year old from next door and letting her pick flowers from the garden. All of these acts have taken place this week. I just did not get to mow that lawn!
I plan to keep hollerin' out and helpin' when I can, in the neighborhood.
This is the week of H.
Last night as I returned home from work at a relatively late hour, I saw my neighbor was getting out of her car. She said, "Hi Kim" before I got my evening greeting out of my mouth. I said a hearty "hello" back and then quickly hollered out, "Hey, I was wondering... when your grass gets to be like it is now, with all our rain etc, would you like me to cut it? I really do like mowing the lawn!" By now we'd met in the puddle filled street. She was petting Rowdy. (You followers now know him. For those of you who don't, check out www.abcofkindness.blogspot.com Engage and Express entry) She smiled and said, "Absolutely and I'll make a trade with you for something else." I said, "No no, really I'd like to do it but did not want to mow if you had bigger plans, like baling hay or something." We laughed, chatted a bit more about stuff and headed our separate ways.
This morning when I awoke I saw the weather was clear enough (we've had tons of rain). As I left for the morning walk with the dog I planned to return and mow that lawn. It would take all of 15 minutes. I was excited to help out and be outside before heading to work. As the 30 minute walk came to an end I rounded the corner and to my great dismay a landscaping pair was packing up their mowers and rakes after having completed "my" job. I was very sad to not be able to help. It was the topic of today's blog. It was all planned out.
Then I chuckled to myself and thought, "See, that just goes to show that one can not predict the future...gotta go with the flow." I do not believe my neighbor knew that the guys were coming by to mow. They don't always work on their yard. Her husband must have known his limitations with time etc. and took care of lining up the guys to help out. I certainly don't know but I can imagine that as a possibility. Also, neither my neighbor nor I knew last night that I was contemplating mowing today and that the mowing might be woven into this blog.
So for the blog I was left thinking... How do I help out my neighbors? What acts of kindness do I extend in the hood? And what can I continue to do? Friendly Hellos, like the one last night and the one with another neighbor and his little dog this morning; bringing in the trash cans and recycle bins from the road for the next door neighbors; hanging with the 5 year old from next door and letting her pick flowers from the garden. All of these acts have taken place this week. I just did not get to mow that lawn!
I plan to keep hollerin' out and helpin' when I can, in the neighborhood.
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Gift Giving
This week of G's in the ABC's of Kindness has lead me to really think about Gift Giving. I've always loved giving gifts. So, I looked up the word "gift" on dictionary.com. Here is what I found.
a special ability or capacity; natural endowment; talent: the gift of saying the right thing at the right time."
It's an easy word to define, among words, yet the act of giving and/or receiving a gift is not always a simple type of act. I do believe giving or receiving a gift is an act of kindness which can be filled with a certain grace.
This week I thought about, gave and received gifts. I'll list gifts either given (to someone by me) or received (by me from someone else). A game of Scrabble, a coffee shop gift card, two bouquets of flowers, coverage for time away from work, words of genuine thanks, words of genuine forgiveness, a shared ride in my car to a meeting away from work, several thoughtful, good phone chats with friends, a butterfly stepping stone around which I built a walkway in my yard, a treat for a dog, a smile, humor, listening ears, the sound of my purring cat, johnny jump ups, grape, strawberry and raspberry honey sticks, loading the dishwasher, compliments on a beautiful garden. What gifts did you give or receive this week?
Monday, May 16, 2011
Grateful
It has been stressful couple of weeks as my family has been dealing with aging parent issues. It is hard to be prepared for the onslaught of emotions that goes along with this. I believe my 86 year old mother said it best yesterday when she declared (and cover your ears if you are sensitive to rough language ) “Life is so beautiful in the beginning. Babies are perfect and wonderful. And then old age comes along and it's so f......ed up.” My mom, never one to mince words.
And along with the onslaught of emotions is the the onslaught of systems to deal with in order to make sure everyone is safe and well (hospitals, nursing homes, medicare, etc.). Fortunately with these systems has come some incredibly helpful people to assist in navigating them. And being “G” week in the ABC's of Kindness, I was reminded that expressing to people that you are grateful for the great work they do just can't be done enough. I made sure to write thank you notes to the social workers and case managers who have helped on this difficult journey, letting them know how very much they are appreciated.
And I was also grateful for this blog for giving me the extra push to make sure that I didn't just think about writing the notes, I actually followed through and did it.
****************
My sister came up with a clever idea to express her gratitude to the employees of the pharmacy who have been helping her manage my folks' medicines. When she tried to find a way to let the "powers that be" know what a great job the employees were doing, the most accessible means of communication seemed to be through the complaint department. Not to be deterred, she filed what was probably the first ever compliment through that department, which was promptly forward to the supervisors and employees in the pharmacy, who were, of course, delighted.
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Friendly Focus Chases Away The Funk
Yesterday as I searched for an interesting act of kindness that started with “F”. I was in a bit of a funk (having nothing to do with the search) and I was having some trouble coming up with an idea, primarily due to the aforementioned funk. Flowers would be the ideal choice, except I just did that two weeks ago. While grocery shopping, I scoured the shelves for inspiration. Fudge? Fruit? Fava beans? Ok, fava beans definitely makes me think of Hannibal Lecter, not a kind thought at all.
As I was wandering through the aisles, a woman passing the other way gave me a friendly hello, making me realize just how unfriendly I was acting while searching for a kind act. Hmm, friendly starts with F.....
For the rest of my shopping trip, I made a point to make eye contact and give a hello to every person I passed. I chatted with the cashier and the bagger and gave a big thank you to the gentleman who took my cart when I finished loading the bags in my car. As the day went on and the blues started creeping back, I made the extra effort to offer friendly words to the next person I saw.
And I tried to remind myself that friendly trumps funk every time.
Monday, May 9, 2011
The FRIENDLY Effect
For this week's post from me, I'd like to share how I chose to concentrate on friendliness, and it's rippling impact, particularly over the two days I attended a conference in Boston. Yes, I attended with a friend but also with the Big Furry Fluffy Dog (see photo insert in the last blog entry for a visual) who does go everywhere with me, given he is a Service Dog.
My attention was heightened because the friend with whom I traveled for the intensive two day conference on Psychotherapy and Meditation had never been with said dog in a public setting for two whole days. Being in Boston, big city that it is, enhanced the experience for the two of us. Not our norm.
On day one I told her to check out the many faces as we walked from our parking spot to the hotel where the conference was held (probably 3 or 4 blocks). Into the hotel, an historic and rather fancy hotel, we went. Heads turned. Smiles, smiles and more smiles. Once in the conference, we sat in the back of a large ballroom which likely held over 200 participants. The Service Dog had plenty of room to fan out the legs and sprawl while we listened. In no time people began to quietly approach (food and coffee were not far behind us) because even the sleeping fluffy dog drew attention. "May I pet your dog? What kind is he? What's his name?" they said in hushed whispers because the presenters were doing their thing. Smiles, smiles and more smiles from nearby and further away. A participant who explained she was from Maine, missed her own three dogs, and really needed to pet mine, joined the fluffy dog on the floor for probably 1/2 hour. She returned for pats here and there on the second day as well (we sat in a different location and she found us).
Both days my friend and I had the pleasure of eating our lunch and walking through the Boston Public Garden (where the Swan boats and the mallards, made famous in the children's book, Make Way for Ducklings, float about). Picture this park (might be worth googling in order to see images) in its height of color. The crab apples (pink and white), the dogwood, the red bud, the tulips of assorted colors, and the vast array of trees springing into to bloom in this historical botanical, blissful place. There were babies ranging from newborn to toddlers. There was a group of third or forth graders spread out in one section of grass reading. There were adults of many ethnic groups ranging from business types, to new mothers, to older adults walking or sitting, taking in the fresh Spring air. Fluffy Dog, Rowdy, received many greeters of the human and canine type. The latter were his favorite, of course. Smiles abounded.
By the close of the intensive two day training, I can certainly say my energy was fueled by reflecting upon the ways focus came Rowdy's way during our adventures in Boston. While the area in which we moved was relatively small, given the size of metropolitan Boston, the experience of seeing how Rowdy can bring a smile to the faces of complete strangers of all sorts, was powerful and it seemed good. I believe I have now coined a phrase for this effect Rowdy has on others -- it is The Friendly Effect. I shall try to continue to allow for this effect when I make my way about town with my furry friend.
May your week be filled with smiles!
My attention was heightened because the friend with whom I traveled for the intensive two day conference on Psychotherapy and Meditation had never been with said dog in a public setting for two whole days. Being in Boston, big city that it is, enhanced the experience for the two of us. Not our norm.
On day one I told her to check out the many faces as we walked from our parking spot to the hotel where the conference was held (probably 3 or 4 blocks). Into the hotel, an historic and rather fancy hotel, we went. Heads turned. Smiles, smiles and more smiles. Once in the conference, we sat in the back of a large ballroom which likely held over 200 participants. The Service Dog had plenty of room to fan out the legs and sprawl while we listened. In no time people began to quietly approach (food and coffee were not far behind us) because even the sleeping fluffy dog drew attention. "May I pet your dog? What kind is he? What's his name?" they said in hushed whispers because the presenters were doing their thing. Smiles, smiles and more smiles from nearby and further away. A participant who explained she was from Maine, missed her own three dogs, and really needed to pet mine, joined the fluffy dog on the floor for probably 1/2 hour. She returned for pats here and there on the second day as well (we sat in a different location and she found us).
Both days my friend and I had the pleasure of eating our lunch and walking through the Boston Public Garden (where the Swan boats and the mallards, made famous in the children's book, Make Way for Ducklings, float about). Picture this park (might be worth googling in order to see images) in its height of color. The crab apples (pink and white), the dogwood, the red bud, the tulips of assorted colors, and the vast array of trees springing into to bloom in this historical botanical, blissful place. There were babies ranging from newborn to toddlers. There was a group of third or forth graders spread out in one section of grass reading. There were adults of many ethnic groups ranging from business types, to new mothers, to older adults walking or sitting, taking in the fresh Spring air. Fluffy Dog, Rowdy, received many greeters of the human and canine type. The latter were his favorite, of course. Smiles abounded.
By the close of the intensive two day training, I can certainly say my energy was fueled by reflecting upon the ways focus came Rowdy's way during our adventures in Boston. While the area in which we moved was relatively small, given the size of metropolitan Boston, the experience of seeing how Rowdy can bring a smile to the faces of complete strangers of all sorts, was powerful and it seemed good. I believe I have now coined a phrase for this effect Rowdy has on others -- it is The Friendly Effect. I shall try to continue to allow for this effect when I make my way about town with my furry friend.
May your week be filled with smiles!
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Engage and Express
I began this week, this month (on Sunday, May 1) with a commitment to paying close attention to how I express myself in each interaction I had with others. Admittedly I have been under a fair amount of stress of the work related variety. I am enveloped. I am aware I have had the propensity to react with a certain disregard in even the most common interactions. My kindness goal was to mindfully engage with others as a way of committing to kindness. I wanted to notice and to choose my responses with others.
There are those with whom I interact daily who are at the greatest risk for a less than kind response from me, mostly because I'm on to the next task while still working on the one before me. And then, there are those I don't know with whom I interact: the acquaintances on the stairs at work, the sales people at the grocery store, the drug store, those I pass on my dog walks. I worked to engage mindfully, and kindly.
Here are a couple of examples from the week's commitment in which I experienced simple enjoyment.
On Sunday I chose to buy socks for a friend (not a stranger) with whom I am committing to exercise weekly (acts of kindness towards ourselves, our bodies). I entered the sporting goods store with the big fluffy dog to whom I've referred in previous blogs. He is a Service Dog for Therapy thus he has privileges to go shopping with me as part of his ongoing training. He is a head turner and draws strangers. He, and therefore I, had 4 or 5 extended exchanges with others ranging from around 10 to probably 60 years of age, or so. Among these folks, there were lots of oooos and ahhhhhs exclaimed about how soft, cute and friendly this boy dog is. Here... he might even bring a smile to your face.
On Tuesday, as I entered the local mall very early in the morning, sans dog and, before the majority of stores opened, for a course at the Apple Store, I made it a point to engage with each person I encountered. There was a maintenance gentleman. We exchanged "Good mornings." There were three or four people walking about. I smiled and looked each in the eye, if they looked up, and I said, "Hello." As I left there I made sure to thank the Apple experts for their much needed assistance. After last week's class I gave them a container of chocolate covered caramels with sea salt to say thanks. As I drove out of the parking structure that is like a maze, I reviewed my interactions within that 1.5 hours and noticed a sense of peace within me. It is good to go that extra step, to take the extra time to extend pleasantries with others. It is simple yet not easy to do in a conscious manner, and there is at least a chance that kindness was experienced as a byproduct.
Wishing all readers a great rest of the week, possibly filled with kind expressions to and from others in your environs.
There are those with whom I interact daily who are at the greatest risk for a less than kind response from me, mostly because I'm on to the next task while still working on the one before me. And then, there are those I don't know with whom I interact: the acquaintances on the stairs at work, the sales people at the grocery store, the drug store, those I pass on my dog walks. I worked to engage mindfully, and kindly.
Here are a couple of examples from the week's commitment in which I experienced simple enjoyment.
On Sunday I chose to buy socks for a friend (not a stranger) with whom I am committing to exercise weekly (acts of kindness towards ourselves, our bodies). I entered the sporting goods store with the big fluffy dog to whom I've referred in previous blogs. He is a Service Dog for Therapy thus he has privileges to go shopping with me as part of his ongoing training. He is a head turner and draws strangers. He, and therefore I, had 4 or 5 extended exchanges with others ranging from around 10 to probably 60 years of age, or so. Among these folks, there were lots of oooos and ahhhhhs exclaimed about how soft, cute and friendly this boy dog is. Here... he might even bring a smile to your face.
On Tuesday, as I entered the local mall very early in the morning, sans dog and, before the majority of stores opened, for a course at the Apple Store, I made it a point to engage with each person I encountered. There was a maintenance gentleman. We exchanged "Good mornings." There were three or four people walking about. I smiled and looked each in the eye, if they looked up, and I said, "Hello." As I left there I made sure to thank the Apple experts for their much needed assistance. After last week's class I gave them a container of chocolate covered caramels with sea salt to say thanks. As I drove out of the parking structure that is like a maze, I reviewed my interactions within that 1.5 hours and noticed a sense of peace within me. It is good to go that extra step, to take the extra time to extend pleasantries with others. It is simple yet not easy to do in a conscious manner, and there is at least a chance that kindness was experienced as a byproduct.
Wishing all readers a great rest of the week, possibly filled with kind expressions to and from others in your environs.
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
E is for...
.....Every time. That was my goal yesterday while driving. To let other drivers merge in front of me or to stop so those coming the opposite direction could turn left EVERY time they needed to. Full disclosure, I chose to try it yesterday because I knew that I had to work late and wouldn't be coming home until 9PM when there were fewer cars on the road than at 5PM. Cheating? Maybe. But I thought this would increase my chances of success. Alas, it did not.
My downfall was not lack of kindness, rather lack of focus. At least three times I didn't notice the car waiting to turn or to merge until it was too late. “Oh *!#!*” I would think as I drove past. And I suspect there were a few I passed that I never even saw. Perhaps the next blog will be The ABC's of Memory Improvement. But for now I will take credit for the effort, if not for the results.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)